Kevin Wald: Cole Porter does Indo-European


In olden days a hint of RUKI
Was looked on as something kooky,
But now, God knows,
Anything Goes.

In India they think it's pleasin'
To say all alike their e's 'n'
Their a's 'n' o's.
Anything Goes.

So t's thorn today,
And p's gone today,
And o's a today,
And g's j today,
And schwa's i today,
And q is pi today
(And some others like those).

And though I'm just a steppe parparian,
In two weeks I'll pe Tocharian,
And it shows.
Anything Koes.


Like lightning (Dye:us forgive the simile),
The Teutons are switching, Grimmily,
All three rows.
Anything Goes.

There's folks who act like they invented verbs,
Using those e-augmented verbs
In their prose.
Anything Goes.

So g's zed today,
And y's dead today,
And d's t today,
And q's c today,
And k's k today,
And n is a today
(Just plug up your nose).

And someday we will have the class to risk
Dropping that preposed asterisk,
I suppose.
Anything Goes.